I usually place myself in situations to learn from them. I never think "you win some you lose some" but rather "you win some and learn some." When you lose, you gain so much more than when you're winning. When you lose, all you want to do is get better so you can win, and you can actually learn all of your weaknesses. So you don't really lose. If you've never experienced losing in your life, I assume everything was given to you on a silver platter and once shit hits the fan, you crack and go into a corner.
Me, I have been through the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs. I think everybody has gone through it. My situations weren't as devastating as most, but I handle them by being as calm and collected as I can be...If I snap, everybody just needs to back up and let me snap. I will even disappear for some time just so I don't do anything I'll regret.
DIG OR CLIMB is my metaphor
So DIG OR CLIMB ..it can be small situations or big ones, but mostly deals with relationships..
Lets start with the DIG metaphor.
So every one knows how to dig a hole right? If not you get a shovel,stick it in the ground, and perform a scooping motion..lol the longer you dig the deeper the hole gets. So picture me digging a hole. I'm just digging getting deeper and deeper. The deeper I get the harder it is to see me. This is what I call the beginning stage... you are just digging to dig. Like oh what's down here?...You know, we sometimes don't know when we have dug ourselves into a deep hole. Sometimes you don't want to see it or you know and don't care. I usually don't care, because if I have gone through the experience before maybe I can have a better outcome this time around. I'm digging and digging and BOOM, an obstacle. I need to change my approach now. A big ass boulder is in the way. This is interesting, let me see if I can get around this. So I try a different route and I get around the boulder. TIME CONSUMING!! And not time consuming in a good way....I'm just wasting time digging a hole.
Why do I do that? I know I have dug myself into a hole but why do I keep persisting to go on like I don't already know the outcome?....People will even yell down at you saying "STOP, WHY ARE YOU STILL DIGGING...?"and you will respond back "I MIGHT FIND SOME TREASURE.... !"
Digging a hole is a messy thing to do and when you dig a hole it gets harder to see what's actually going on.. You are just looking for that one thing that's going to turn this experience around. Then you come to that point. You have hit the bedrock..the ground level that's unbreakable..You've hit ROCK BOTTOM...
You can't hear anybody because you're too deep and climbing back up seems even harder so some people sit there for a very long time...waiting for something to change....then that one person comes and jumps in with you and helps you climb out! Friends will help you out a little with pulling you up. You let them help, but it's never enough. You're waiting for some stranger to come along. There is nothing like a person who is a stranger that is more than a friend, who will get into the dirt with you and help you out so you can start to climb out the hole....
I thought to myself what if I'm that person digging the hole who just needs to stop!I really can't tell...why? I usually don't care. The experience is what I'm after. So I am losing for the experience..you can kinda say it's like a road that has a dead-end you didn't know was there. You drive until you come to a COMPLETE STOP!!!!
The Climb
The difference between the climb and the dig is the climb usually starts off easy. You can walk it...Think of the climb as scaling a mountain. *see pic of mountain*
Once you get to a certain point on the mountain you are going to have to literally climb it. You are going to face some hard times but you will be happy that you kept at it. You're closer to your goal of reaching the top.
Everybody loves a challenge, especially when it's something you want anyway. That even means you will take the double diamond route if you know the reward will payoff GREAT!!!....but then some thing happens......you get fatigued... "maybe I rushed into this too fast, I'm not ready and I can't breath. Let me turn around.... "Then you walk back down thinking I gave it a try..now you are back at ground level..you can always try again because you didn't get hurt or anything. You just weren't ready. You are just at the beginning of the mountain walking around thinking about attempting when the right person comes along..a lot of people run away when stuff gets too good! They second guess themselves and also their partner. They start to wonder if they have made the right choice.
So climbing the mountain is not an easy task. It takes time and discipline. You can't just think you are going to run up a mountain full speed and get to the top. You are going to have to pace yourself and think about your next couple of steps...but to reach the top there is always going to be sacrifice. This mission is a two person mission. You are going to walk up the mountain with alot of your own baggage and so is your partner. Now yall are both thinking to yourselves "I can carry all this" but you can't. So one by one you start to share the baggage. The load has become less and now yall are even leaving stuff behind. The baggage is now being shared and now the CLIMB has become a little easier...The top doesn't seem so far now...
I thought I was close at one point in time but then an avalanche came...another obstacle that is very unpredictable. This is when your partner starts to think they are not right for you or you are too good for them...or some kind of BS that is from left field that ruins your mission to get to the top. Arguments happen for no reason now. You are both yelling at the top of your lungs. That's how avalanches happen!!! But me, I'll bounce right back (<----I think I found one country song I actually like by Dolly Parton from The best little whore house in Texas....who knew!? Lol I'm going to sample the hell out of this song......back to the metaphor..lol)
When an avalanche happens it is hella POWERFUL!!! You don't expect it to come and now you are stuck there with broken limbs and looking around for whatever is left...once again you can't see anybody or anything...you want to scream out for help but there's just too much snow and the damage that was done is just unbelievable. There is soooo much snow that you become COLD & NUMB. That's the bad thing about the CLIMB... At any given moment, the unexpected can happen...so you leave the mountain altogether and are back on middle ground...you want to take the climb again but you remember how that avalanche was and think "NOPE, NEVER MIND!!!!" You might even walk up the mountain tempted by it...Try and get back on that horse....
Sometimes you might think you're ready to try again and you get nervous and start to sabotage yourself. So now you're undecided what you really want or what's really good for you....so you lead people on....what your partner doesn't know is you know that there is a route, that only you know about, that seems like you are going up but it's actually a short cut that goes back to the bottom. We won't really be ready to take the climb again until we are ready...you can't force it or disguise it. When WE are ready...that's when WE ARE READY!!!!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DIGGING OR CLIMBING!!!
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